Sometimes I find myself sitting in one spot for hours, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing, feeling nothing, and, most disturbingly, caring about nothing.
“I think I'm searching for validation. Validation that I am on the right path. That I am changing for the better. That the person I was months ago, is far from who I am today. I want someone to look at me, and see how far I’ve come. I want someone to tell me that they see how hard I fought to keep going, to get better and that they are proud of me. That they are proud I never gave up, even when I wanted to so badly, even when living felt impossible. I want people to say they saw how bad it was, they saw how much in pain I was in, and that they are glad I’m better. That they are glad I made it through. I want someone to care. It nags at me, the idea that the people in my life can’t even tell the difference between my smiles from then and now. That they don’t care enough to look that closely. Does no one notice? Almost no one noticed when I was at my worst, so maybe they just can’t tell that I’m better.”
- n.c.// at least I can tell, at least I notice, and that is more than I ever thought I would get.
Forget everything. Open the windows. Clear the room. The wind blows through it. You see only its emptiness, you search in every corner and don’t find yourself.
